Admitting it...

A friend of mine who writes for a living admitted to hating writing sometimes. She actually admitted to it on her business site! Pretty bold if you ask me.

I admitted here once that I hate running at time. I admitted how much I hate the excuses that go through my head and the ways that I combat them too.

Here is another thing to admit hating, being responsible and always turning the correct direction. Please be clear here this is NOT about making the choice that seems prudent or financially correct or wise, this is about being responsible and turning the "right" direction and "correct" direction.

Over the past 20 years since graduating from college there have been countless decisions in my life, countless  moments of admitting to defeat or claiming triumph, and multiple times when I have stood on the brink wondering if I would be responsible and make the correct choice. The initial statement here is "Sadly, I've made the responsible and correct choice." How is this sad? How is this a bad thing? This doesn't mean I haven't had adventure, this doesn't mean I haven't had astounding heartbreak, and it most definitely doesn't mean I haven't tried my hand at the reach job in another city with lots of risk.  What do I wonder?

I wonder what would have happened if I just gave up and gave in.
I wonder what would have happened if I made the safe decision but ultimately not the right decision.
I wonder what would have happened if continually turned left?
I wonder what would have happened if I made the decision for someone else?

I admit I like to control EVERYTHING I possibly can and when I cannot control something I change it immediately or as soon as possible to be able to control it.

I'm not sure what all this means and where all this is going. Just me admitting that I'm Eli, I'm working on it.

Be patient with me, I'm still evolving.