A question to ask your mother...

From CNN article: 10. When did you realize you were no longer a child? I know what the answer will be for me, and I was startled to hear my mother give the same response: "I knew it when my own mother died," she told me. "That's the last time there would be anyone in the world who always put me before herself." What is amazing is that for me this is exactly when I stopped considering that it was possible for me to fail safely. Yes you read that right. I stopped being a child when my mom died because I realized I would never be able to fail without a safety net. My mom let me fail which is a good thing but it was okay to fail, it was okay to take a risk and not come out on top, and it was okay to pursue my dreams. This doesn't mean she bailed me out, kept me from failing or was polite or happy about it. She made me recover from my failures but knowing she was there to help me find the lesson in each failure was my safety net. Now that she is no longer there to judge me, push me, question why and then sit back and watch the fall out of a tried endeavor, I'm afraid to fail. Which means... I'm failing at things more than ever because I don't have her confidence to prove I can do it right. Failing is even more painful now than ever because she isn't there to help me find the lesson and the silver lining.